The full lineup of genius problem solvers and musical virtuosos for the June 9th PSICKASS Event at Beauty Bar has been announced. A Mental State Department press agent spoke this morning from a podium, high atop MSD headquarters in Langley, VA, delivering the details in an address to thousands of desperate morons gathered below.
“Headlining the event is comedian Danny Norton. He’s known throughout the world as a dandy genius, and is sure to make everything right in the world. The musical guest for the evening is Iretsu, whose funky, soulful pop-rock will soothe the audience into blissful relaxation, possibly even causing spontaneous dancing to erupt. In addition, previously announced guests Whitney Streed and Phil Schallberger, both of whom are brilliant and clever public speakers, are going to be assisting Danny Norton in solving the problems of everyone who attends.”
The announcement was met with indifference, drooling and some fighting among the unintelligent masses in the crowd. The PSICKASS unveiling is not open to the poorly-educated, but MSD announcements are often delivered to anyone who camps on the lawn of headquarters.
Mental State Department scientists have been crafting a simple yet effective system intended to solve all problems. Dubbed “PSICKASS,” Problem Solving Initiative – Creating + Kindly Announcing Silly Solutions, the system has been mysteriously short on public details until recently, when an anonymous source at MSD revealed the date and time the MSD intend to make PSICKASS public.
The PSICKASS unveiling is scheduled at 8pm on June 9th at the Beauty Bar at SW 1st and Ash. The program is intended to solve all problems, and is free for anyone (age 21+) to attend. Mental State Department guidelines insist that no one who attends this event be stupid, dumb, or stupid-dumb.
After this morning’s announcement, MSD distributed the following flyer, intended to promote the show:
Questions? Comments? Please contact MSD directly at mentalstatecomedy at gmail dot com
— Shawn Gray-Fleek